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when I'm dead I'll rest
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at 9:43 am i happened to stumble upon the prettiest girl in the world. i mean i didn't know it yet, and wouldn't know it for a while, and i didn't even know how important she'd be or that i'd even like her. from the start it was stupid fights which ended up later on with us becoming friends over me getting in a fight with someone else (surprisingly). i could go back and tell every story that we've made up, but i don't remember every single one and holy fuck there's a lot, plus we've already told the various stories of moonlight starchild and his mental retardation enough times. but i can tell you what does matter and what i really do want to say and basically the reason im writing this because im a sad fucking sap let me tell you i love ivana with all my heart and yeah i get people say that a lot especially teen girls who think they're madly in love or whatever. but it's more like she means everything in the world to me and more, and i don't even know how to begin to describe it. this is 3 years that we've been bad bitches together and it seems like ive known her my entire life, because tbh, these past 3 years have been the most important to me and not because of stupid relationships or asshole friends who ditched me in the end for basically no reason other than themselves in mind, and how fucked up things have gotten, but because i feel like my life finally has purpose. sometimes i just think i was meant to meet her, like that's what my lifes been leading up to. the rest of my life is shapped around her and it has been for a very long time. i want to do so many things with her i can't even begin to list them, but i know 2 years from now we'll be together in oversized shirts eating all the food in her house and watching stupid movies together, and going to late night trips everywhere especially mcdonalds and fuck bitches up there because they put tomatoes on her sandwich or us getting crunk to waka flocka in the car and probably getting tickets from the police. im geniunely worried about what'll happen when we meet although the buddhists say that when you meet your soulmate that you will be calm and your heart will not race and there will be no worries. and whenever i think about meeting her thats how i picture it. i mean not calm holy shit we're gonna be all over each other let me tell you, but i'm not going to be nervous about it at all because theres simply nothing to be nervous about. i know everything about her and she knows everything about me, and i love her the way she is and the way she looks and her personality and just everything. i know she's perfect the way she is, and maybe not everyone sees it that way, but that's how i do and thats all that matters. ive never actually had a friend for so long although at this point we're not really friends but we're not really dating. i like to use the term soulmate because that's what it feels like but if you're not into that kind of thing then just picture us like str8 up family i guess. she's all i need and that's final. i love her more than anything and im ever-so-grateful that i met her. maybe our time together isn't long to many, but i'm ready to spend all of my time with her based off of these 3 years because i have nothing to complain about. she's perfect and i love her : - ) happy 3 year bae